What hurts the most..

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts Tthe Most

uno-mono | MySpace Video

The memories of the past is back to haunt me.
I had been having nightmares for a few nights.
This has got to stop. I won't let myself go back to where I was before.
:(
I need distractions, where is my distraction?

Goodbye My Almost Lover..

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images, no

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do..

No Happen Ending..

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

.

Wake up in the morning,

stumble on my life

Can't get no love without sacrifice

If anything could happen,

I guess I wish you well

A little bit of heaven,

but a little bit of hell

.

This is the hardest story that I've ever told

No hope, or love, or glory

Happy endings gone forever more

I feel as if I'm wasted

No happy ending

And I waste everyday

.

This is the way you left me,

I'm not pretending.

No hope, no love, no glory,

No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,

Like it's forever.

Then live the rest of our life,

But not together.

.

2 o'clock in the morning,

something's on my mind

Can't get no rest;

keep walkin' around

If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong,

I can get to my sleep

I can think that we just carried on..

.

I'm so loving this song now. Well, it suits me well though.

Btw, I'm still very much alive. And will start posting up more often.

I pretty much spend most of my time n work and staring at the laptop all day n night.

Just yesterday, I realised that I'm turning 22 in a week.
:)
Suppose to be a happy joyous occasion.

I want to celebrate my birthday with a bang. I really really want to be happy.
But turns out to be the date has other meanings. I am really fucking myself up.

I have been burying myself at work.
I reach home at 9 this whole week and am going back to work tomorrow.
Great isn't it.

I want to.. but my heart is telling me not to.

Last night, when I had the thoughts of you keep running in my mind..
I couldn't help but teared.


Ever since the last time,

I never knew crying would cause me such heartache.


I feel so hopeless,
I've lost myself.. in you.
And now.. I can't find myself back.

I've loved and lost.
We've had our happiest and saddest moments.
Feeling your warm embrace.
Feeling wanted.
These are the things I'm longing for.

I am going back to square one.
Fuck.

Counting down.. 18 days til I turn 22. :)

20012008

A date that was worth celebrating.
Now it doesn't mean anything anymore.

Deep inside my heart, I hope that it still means something to you.
Cos for me, it still does.



-On the other note, back to work tmrw! URGH!

The sky is beautiful tonight...

I wonder if you are looking at the same moon too...

I wish that you were right by my side..

*sigh*

Update

What have I been up to these days? I have a very healthy routine.
I get up at 8 or earlier everyday.. go work.. go home.. watch chinese series til 8..
go bathe.. eat dinner.. watch chinese series til 10.. wrap my own ciggies..
go downstairs to smoke.. call my maam.. by 12 I'm asleep.
Damn good right.
But I still feel like I don't have enough sleep everyday...
And I'll be down with a flu every other day.. so irritating.

I feel really happy at my work place. Its not like a typical law firm.
Although there are alot alot ALOT of things to do these days.
Its like we have our own party everyday. Its really a very cosy place to work.
And most importantly, there are no politics in the office.
Oh yes, I MOST PROBABLY will be joining them to Bangkok for the annual company trip.
Hee Hee Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Yay!
I got lots and lots to shop for.
Girls, wanna make ur order? :p

I am trying to go back next weekend...
Hopefully I can get the tickets. Mum doesnt want me to waste money to go back.
But I told her that I have it, and there's nothing to do here.
Which is true. Tell me, what the hell to do here?
Freaking boring man... hmmm.. I still got no friends except for my colleagues.
Saddening right.

On the other note, I am healing.. slowly but surely.
I am quite proud of myself though.
Of course there are times when I would feel like I'm all alone and cry and all..
But I am coping it real well.
Oh, I dreamt of him last night. I wasn't too happy about it though..
I really don't know what I will do if I ever bump into him one day.
What do I do? In a way, I want to bump into him.. but in a way I don't.
*sigh*

Okay whatever.
Looking forward to CNY!
Cos I get to be home for about 1 week?
:)

I have to change the name of the blog so that I'm not easily found with shereenong.
I don't want people from office to know what I've been up to. :)

In a span of just a month, so many things had changed.
First, Miss Yap left for Florida.. and I've made my debut in Singapore.. &
Miss Yong has started working already..
Suddenly, I feel so damn bloody grown up.
Miss Chia, hahaha I know you hate me for leaving you alone.
But see you in Sg in 6 months time? We're gonna be housemates hopefully?

Work has been okay. The coming days will not be easy
as I have a whole damn LOT to learn. Law stuff man.
Colleagues are good.. even invited me to go clubbing with them.

Those were the days when we could go yamchar at anytime, anywhere of the day.
Its so bloody hard to even find time to meet up now.
And this is just the beginning. Hopefully we're all still gonna be close.

I miss so many things.. especially certain something.
Its been a while now. But I have been thinking of "it" quite alot these days.
Well, nothing can be done to solve it though. I just have to bare with it
until I can fuck "it" off.

Gonna do some christmas shopping.. laters.

New leash..

Am already where I'm suppose to be.
All set to start work tomorrow...I'm so anxious.
This is going to be really tough but I will pull this off.
Normally, I will tear when I leave Spore, but this morning..
I was crying in the bus from KL. :(
But fret not, I will be home for the weekends in 2 weeks time, I hope!

As I'm sitting here all alone at my aunts place.
I feel lonely, I do feel like crying.
But its not so much about him anymore..
I miss everyone already and I miss home.
The conversations, the company and the familiar places.
Its only been a few hours, be strong Ms.Ong.

Part of me really really wants to see him. Just a glimpse or whatsoever.
But I know.. that I will fuck myself up all over again.
Cos I haven't seen him for more than a month, and I don't think of him
that much anymore. But but... I really really want to see him. :(

Favourite!

All I hear is raindrops, falling on the rooftop

Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go

'Cause this pain I feel, it won't go away

And today I'm officially missing you

.

.

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape

But I've fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way

And today I'm officially missing you

Ooh, can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially...

.

.

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears

From looking at your face on the wall

Just 3 weeks ago you were my baby

Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now

So that I could get through to you somehow

But I guess it's safe to say, baby,

safe to say that

.

.

I-I'm officially missing you

Ooh, can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially

.

.

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby

But I see that's something I just can't do

From the way you would hold me

To the sweet things you told me

I just can't find a way to let go of you

Ooh...can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially...

From the other side of the island.

Went for the interview yesterday. It was alright I would say. After the interview

I went downstairs and realised that it was pouring heavily. I just stood there like

everyone else did.Then Law Firm guy called me and said that I'm probably still

downstairs as its pouring.Asked me to go upstairs to pass him some documents

as he said chances are very high that they're hiring me.

We were done with the documents within 10 minutes.

Then everyone at the office was setting the christmas tree. Just stood there and

laugh at their jokes and sillyness. They're all really fun people. Even the boss.

Helped them hang some "balls". Hahhaha.

.

Anyway, I just realise something today. After a good round of tears.

That its not worth it. And he's just another asshole by the roadside.

I was reading the old posts of my blog.

And I realise that there are so many occasions when I feel

fucked up.. and he is just the way he is now.

It doesn't make much difference.

Before this, I thought that we could still be friends right.
Cos I really don't want to break up in such a manner.

But turns out to be, he's really being a asshole.

So not man at all. Cis.

I will be so doomed if we ever get back, and he reads this. :) If only.

Heh. You know, I might change my mind tonight.

Well, I am trying my very best to let go. And I guess I just can't do it here.

Will be back home tomorrow noon. And then I'll decide.

I really really like the company.. but I can't stand being here.

How?

Happy 21st Lynn!

-Sorry for the late entry :p

Wishing you all the happiness & love in the world

Good health & wealth.

May every year be better than the last

The day is finally here. And you're legally legal now.

Let's go register to vote? :)

Love you lots!

_______________________________________________________________________

I will be going Spore this Wednesday. I've made up my mind to go for the 2nd interview.

I've thought about it long enough. Its not about me alone anymore, I can't be so selfish.

I have to think about my family. And its really not worth it for me to let go of the job because of some jerk.

I know I will regret it if I don't go for it.

I might be miserable being all alone there, but looks like I don't really have much of a choice now.

Just when I thought that I want to stay here for good.
Law Firm called me up today.. and asked me for 2nd interview.
If I were to go for this interview... I should be getting the job.
But the problem now is, can I do it?

I am so.. fucked.

Almost everyone is expecting me to work there already.
But I can't tell them that I don't want to work there because I'm
not mentally stable cos of the BU.

I can't make up my mind. I can't make up my mind.

:(

This is not good.

In another news, YLY is leaving to Florida tomorrow. Gonna miss her so much.

And I really really miss him. :(

Home.

I think I've had enough here. I will be coming home today.
I should have did it 2 days earlier.
Something happened last night which made me realise that
I cannot be here all alone any longer.
Although I've tried.. but I still don't know if I'm mentally prepared.
First, I need to get myself back..
And I need my family & the girls.

I am still in shock. And I feel very very disappointed.
Never thought that someone could be so mean after all these time.
*sigh*

Pieces don't fit here anymore..

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.
.
Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, pieces don't fit here anymore.
.
You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.
.
Don't misunderstand,
How I feel,
Cos I've tried, yes I've tried,
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why
I don't know why.. why..
.
Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, pieces don't fit here anymore.
.

This is gonna be damn hard. So hard that I really don't know how am I gonna get through it.
Believe me when I say I'm trying.

Less than 12 hours I'm here.
And I feel like going home already.
*sigh*
Maybe I made a mistake of coming here.
Maybe this aren't meant to be at all..

I'm tired... I'm really really tired.

MIA

Been neglecting this for so long.
I always log on... but only to connect to the links. :)

A little update, have finished my course and am now looking for a job.
Can't wait to start working and earning my own moolah.
I have yet to decide if I should move to Spore to work.
Since the bf is there... and the pay is so much better. Why not right.
*crosses fingers* Hopefully can get a job asap.

Well, I have been just bumming around as usual.
Went Spore middle of the month.. bf came back these few days but leaving today.
I don't feel happy at all.
Should I go Spore this weekend? Its his 21st ....Urgh.

Oh yeah, Ms.Yap is leaving on the 17th ... :(
I also want to leave soon soon wei.



OK. Gotta go off now.

Facebook is officially addictive...

Shit, made a mistake of joining.

I love my Smellie Dragun, he's so cute.

But wait, how do I know if it's a she or he?

Hmmmmmmm......