I have to change the name of the blog so that I'm not easily found with shereenong.
I don't want people from office to know what I've been up to. :)

In a span of just a month, so many things had changed.
First, Miss Yap left for Florida.. and I've made my debut in Singapore.. &
Miss Yong has started working already..
Suddenly, I feel so damn bloody grown up.
Miss Chia, hahaha I know you hate me for leaving you alone.
But see you in Sg in 6 months time? We're gonna be housemates hopefully?

Work has been okay. The coming days will not be easy
as I have a whole damn LOT to learn. Law stuff man.
Colleagues are good.. even invited me to go clubbing with them.

Those were the days when we could go yamchar at anytime, anywhere of the day.
Its so bloody hard to even find time to meet up now.
And this is just the beginning. Hopefully we're all still gonna be close.

I miss so many things.. especially certain something.
Its been a while now. But I have been thinking of "it" quite alot these days.
Well, nothing can be done to solve it though. I just have to bare with it
until I can fuck "it" off.

Gonna do some christmas shopping.. laters.

New leash..

Am already where I'm suppose to be.
All set to start work tomorrow...I'm so anxious.
This is going to be really tough but I will pull this off.
Normally, I will tear when I leave Spore, but this morning..
I was crying in the bus from KL. :(
But fret not, I will be home for the weekends in 2 weeks time, I hope!

As I'm sitting here all alone at my aunts place.
I feel lonely, I do feel like crying.
But its not so much about him anymore..
I miss everyone already and I miss home.
The conversations, the company and the familiar places.
Its only been a few hours, be strong Ms.Ong.

Part of me really really wants to see him. Just a glimpse or whatsoever.
But I know.. that I will fuck myself up all over again.
Cos I haven't seen him for more than a month, and I don't think of him
that much anymore. But but... I really really want to see him. :(

Favourite!

All I hear is raindrops, falling on the rooftop

Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go

'Cause this pain I feel, it won't go away

And today I'm officially missing you

.

.

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape

But I've fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way

And today I'm officially missing you

Ooh, can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially...

.

.

All I do is lay around, two years full of tears

From looking at your face on the wall

Just 3 weeks ago you were my baby

Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all

Well, I wish that you would call me right now

So that I could get through to you somehow

But I guess it's safe to say, baby,

safe to say that

.

.

I-I'm officially missing you

Ooh, can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially

.

.

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby

But I see that's something I just can't do

From the way you would hold me

To the sweet things you told me

I just can't find a way to let go of you

Ooh...can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I-I'm officially...

From the other side of the island.

Went for the interview yesterday. It was alright I would say. After the interview

I went downstairs and realised that it was pouring heavily. I just stood there like

everyone else did.Then Law Firm guy called me and said that I'm probably still

downstairs as its pouring.Asked me to go upstairs to pass him some documents

as he said chances are very high that they're hiring me.

We were done with the documents within 10 minutes.

Then everyone at the office was setting the christmas tree. Just stood there and

laugh at their jokes and sillyness. They're all really fun people. Even the boss.

Helped them hang some "balls". Hahhaha.

.

Anyway, I just realise something today. After a good round of tears.

That its not worth it. And he's just another asshole by the roadside.

I was reading the old posts of my blog.

And I realise that there are so many occasions when I feel

fucked up.. and he is just the way he is now.

It doesn't make much difference.

Before this, I thought that we could still be friends right.
Cos I really don't want to break up in such a manner.

But turns out to be, he's really being a asshole.

So not man at all. Cis.

I will be so doomed if we ever get back, and he reads this. :) If only.

Heh. You know, I might change my mind tonight.

Well, I am trying my very best to let go. And I guess I just can't do it here.

Will be back home tomorrow noon. And then I'll decide.

I really really like the company.. but I can't stand being here.

How?

Happy 21st Lynn!

-Sorry for the late entry :p

Wishing you all the happiness & love in the world

Good health & wealth.

May every year be better than the last

The day is finally here. And you're legally legal now.

Let's go register to vote? :)

Love you lots!

_______________________________________________________________________

I will be going Spore this Wednesday. I've made up my mind to go for the 2nd interview.

I've thought about it long enough. Its not about me alone anymore, I can't be so selfish.

I have to think about my family. And its really not worth it for me to let go of the job because of some jerk.

I know I will regret it if I don't go for it.

I might be miserable being all alone there, but looks like I don't really have much of a choice now.

Just when I thought that I want to stay here for good.
Law Firm called me up today.. and asked me for 2nd interview.
If I were to go for this interview... I should be getting the job.
But the problem now is, can I do it?

I am so.. fucked.

Almost everyone is expecting me to work there already.
But I can't tell them that I don't want to work there because I'm
not mentally stable cos of the BU.

I can't make up my mind. I can't make up my mind.

:(

This is not good.

In another news, YLY is leaving to Florida tomorrow. Gonna miss her so much.

And I really really miss him. :(

Home.

I think I've had enough here. I will be coming home today.
I should have did it 2 days earlier.
Something happened last night which made me realise that
I cannot be here all alone any longer.
Although I've tried.. but I still don't know if I'm mentally prepared.
First, I need to get myself back..
And I need my family & the girls.

I am still in shock. And I feel very very disappointed.
Never thought that someone could be so mean after all these time.
*sigh*

Pieces don't fit here anymore..

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.
.
Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, pieces don't fit here anymore.
.
You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.
.
Don't misunderstand,
How I feel,
Cos I've tried, yes I've tried,
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why
I don't know why.. why..
.
Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, pieces don't fit here anymore.
.

This is gonna be damn hard. So hard that I really don't know how am I gonna get through it.
Believe me when I say I'm trying.

Less than 12 hours I'm here.
And I feel like going home already.
*sigh*
Maybe I made a mistake of coming here.
Maybe this aren't meant to be at all..

I'm tired... I'm really really tired.

MIA

Been neglecting this for so long.
I always log on... but only to connect to the links. :)

A little update, have finished my course and am now looking for a job.
Can't wait to start working and earning my own moolah.
I have yet to decide if I should move to Spore to work.
Since the bf is there... and the pay is so much better. Why not right.
*crosses fingers* Hopefully can get a job asap.

Well, I have been just bumming around as usual.
Went Spore middle of the month.. bf came back these few days but leaving today.
I don't feel happy at all.
Should I go Spore this weekend? Its his 21st ....Urgh.

Oh yeah, Ms.Yap is leaving on the 17th ... :(
I also want to leave soon soon wei.



OK. Gotta go off now.

Facebook is officially addictive...

Shit, made a mistake of joining.

I love my Smellie Dragun, he's so cute.

But wait, how do I know if it's a she or he?

Hmmmmmmm......

You're officially legally legal!

Happy 21st Miss Yap !

We had a great time last night.

Hope you like the gift yah.

Have another great celebration today..

Lotsa love! *hugs*

Exam woes..

I'm currently having a post exam depression..
I keep thinking I'm gonna fail this subject and that subject.
Thats because I've been slacking off a little.. okay maybe alot.
I CAN'T seem to concerntrate in class. Its either I'm sleepy or
my mind will drift off somewhere else.
I blame HIM. No thanks to him.

How now? Exam is less than a week away.
I've started studying but not much.

And to know that he is coming back this weekend does not help.
URGH.

Please let me concerntrate on my exams...
This is my last term.. I cannot fuck anything up.

It's suppose to be a happy day...

This is damn cute man.

There's more, go check it out

http://www.bitterstickgirl.com/

..

On the other hand.

Today's the 20th, that marks us being together for 1 & ½ years.

During that period, he has been away for about 9 months.

I can barely reconise the face anymore...

He needs to come home soon.

Or maybe, I will head down to Sg next week

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone

.

Get back on your feet and think of me

.

My love will get you home...

I miss you.

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you went away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

.

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it okay

I miss you

.

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do, reminds me of you

And the clothes you left they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you

I love the things that you do

When you went away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

.

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it okay

I miss you

.

We were made for each other., out here forever

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I do I give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

.

The words I need to hear will always get me through the day

And make it okay

I miss you

HollieMollieCow.

Everything so just so freaking nice and cheap here.
Haven't really got the chance to buy things yet.
Will definitly be going shopping tomorrow cos they kids won't be around!
Have been waiting for the 2 of them to come back from school at 2..
Then wait for the youngest boy to go take his afternoon nap..
And thats when we sneak out... muahahaha. Damn bad rite.
Anyways, tomorrow's Saturday already.. I'm so excited... :))))))))))))))))))))))))
Seriously, I really don't know how to react. Something is wrong with me.

I'm still alive.

Will be heading to the Museum with both my younger cousins later.

But no, I won't be seeing the bf until Sunday. :(

The sales here are crazy and things are really really cheap.

Without converting..that is.

Can't wait to go shopping and get some new shoes & bags. Heh.

Gtg now.. laters peeps.

Happy Bday to my one and only!

Would like to wish my mum a Happy Happy Birthday..

Thank you for bringing me into the world..

Thank you for the everything that you've given me..

Thank you for standing by me through everything..

Thank you for your constant scolding, now I'm exactly like you.. in a good way!

The list would go on forever..

Just so you know that you mean the world to me, you're my number 1.

I love you like no other and you're my heart & soul.


Will update more from Spore, I hope. :)

Pangs of loneliness..

For some reasons suddenly I felt extra lonely. I'm feeling very lost. I miss the companionship. I can't find nothing to do and I have no one to turn to. Even if I have, I don't think anyone would understand my situation and what I'm currently going through. Its like everything and everywhere I want to go now, I have to do it all alone. This is so not fun.

I've tried going on as usual, but somehow someway it will eventually backfire on me, and I would feel worst than before. Now, at this very point, I really don't know what to do. I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

I've made a big mistake. I grew too attached to him for the past 6 months. And all of a sudden, he has left me all alone here makes me feel like there's no place in the world for me. I really don't want to feel this way. Its hurting me too much deep inside.

At moments when I feel the change in my condition I would literally be in tears. I cannot be alone, I have to be around people. With that, I don't think or even realise my current situation. I can't even sleep like I used to. I slept at 6 this morning, and I woke practically every hour.. then forcing myself back to sleep, finally waking up at 12. I've also been losing my appetite. And this is doing no good.

This is affecting me so much that I want to run and hide somewhere. I'm taking an advantage of the company that I have. But still, it isn't enough for me. I guess now I'm contented and totally restless.

I want to scream my lungs out.