Boiling..

.
Its just one of those days where everything & everyone
just have to piss the shit out of me. That includes yesterday.

I tried to keep calm and take deep breaths.. but it still wouldn't work.
Part of me feels like screaming and the other part feels like breaking down.

Well, maybe I've just been too tired.
Haven't had a good rest since last week.

I need a holiday! Maybe I just need my boyfriend, like someone said.

Damn.

Looking forward to the weekends.

I'm looking forward to Batu Pahat this weekend to
visit my cousins and at the same time to attend a wedding dinner.
I miss them so much I can't resist skipping class on Saturday to go there.
I already planned nicely which dress to wear for the dinner.
And then today I was kinda forced into going to my college's Orientation Night on Friday.
Pfft!. Now I have to think what to wear for that.
I was thinking of the black dress I wore for my cousin's wedding,
but on 2nd thoughts maybe I should go with the other 2 dresses that I have not worn before.
Super headache. Ish.

Tiredness is killing me. But then again, I had some happy news today!
So theres a reason for me to smile to sleep tonight.
I should dry my hair and head to the bed now.
:)

The day a F-crue was born.

Happy 19th Birthday Aaven Chen!

Big boy alreadyyyyyyyy! Be good yar.
Have a great time and lotsa fun.
Lotsa love.

The day a babe was born.

Happy 20th Birthday Liann Yap!

It might just have been 4 yrs since I first knew you,

but it seems like its been forever.

Stay just the way that you are. We love you that.

This is your special day, so enjoy!

And say bye bye to your teenhood.

Love you lots babe. *Hugs & kisses*

Random

Been so tired running in and out of college everyday.
Not enough sleep, insomnia kicked in again.
So I thought I would have time for myself on weekends
but I was wrong. I have class on Saturdays.

Anyway, a certain issue has been bothering me lately.
And I can't do anything about it.
Ok, maybe there is something I can do.
But the question is, how?
*sigh*
This is really really bad.

Gtg now, pick mom and head home.
Laters.

.

And if you will,

I will, try to let it go..

21. I'll be there in exactly 5 months. :)

.

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.

Ready, Start!

1. Edmund
2. Sue Lynn
3. Khai Yeing
4. Li Lian
5. Liann
6. Jen Ai
7. Adrian
8. Eric
9. Sue Ann
10. Simon
11. Lionel
12. Michelle
13. Seven
14. Peter
15. Carmen
16. Edwin
17. Hung
18. Boon
19. Sean
20. Ben
21. Aaven



THE QUESTIONS:

How did you meet 14?
Apparently he's my cousin brother.


What would you do if you never met 6?
There wasn't anything I could do because I wouldn't know she existed in the first place. But I'm glad I met her, 12 years ago. :)

What would you do if 20 and 9 date?
Muahaha, I'll be really happy but its unlikely to happen.

Did you ever like 5?
Yeap, I love her. In fact, if I didn't like her I wouldn't be mixing around with her.

Would 3 and 12 make a good couple?
Nah, one's my babe and the other's my cousin sister. How could it be possible?

Describe 8:
Oh god, he's a farn hai. Forever bugging me to fetch him, asking me for ciggarettes but he's a nice boy, though. I hope he finds someone nice.

Do you think 13 is attrative?
Yeap, definitly. He's good looking and has good sense of humour. Btw, he's the new addition of the ka-zen's.

Tell me something about 17:
He's the younger brother of 13. He's just as good looking as his brother. Really nice guy. Glad that I met him though.

Do you know any of 4's family members?
Hmmm, yeah? I know her mum, her dad, her brothers?

What's 21's favourite colour?
Uncle likes, Orange? Pink? Blue? Come on, one of them must be right!

What would you do if 18 confessed that he/she liked you?
Omg, I'd probably freak weh. We share a mother and son relationship people.

What languages that 20 speak?
Hmm.. cantonese, english, malay, mandarin & hokkien. Thats about it, I guess.

Who is 9 going out with?
No one at the moment. She's enjoying everybit of her singlehood right now.

What does 16 do?
He's an auditor in Australia.

When was the last time you talked to 13?
About 1 and a half month back? Will be talking to him again in November.

What perfume does number 2 use?
I don't think she normally uses perfumes. She has a kind of lotion smell on her sometimes. Mind me, it does smell good but weird. :P

Would you ever date 7?
Muahahahaha. Would you ever date your own brother?

Would you ever date 1?
Hmm.. yeah. I am actually currently dating him now, minus the distance. :)

Is 15 single?
Nope. She hasn't been single for the past 11 years. She's getting married in December.

What is 19's last name?
Yung.

Would you ever want to be in a a serious relationship with 11?
Our relationship is indeed serious. We're cousin's, who has been living together under one roof for a while. Can it get more serious?

What school does 3 go to?
Oh gosh. The schools that she went to is confusing. Yuk Chai, Tmn Sea, Sri Kl, Perth, Tazmania and now Monash/Vu? She might be heading to Melbourne next year. :(

Where does 10 live?
This canto-pop rocker lives in Tmn Tun.

What's your favourite thing about 10?
Hmmm, nothing actually. Just that he's my girlfriend's boyfriend, so I don't have a choice. I... am... just kidding. He's a nice guy, a joker and a potential husband for no.2 in future.

Have you seen number 13 naked?
Top half or bottom half?


Mind me, I'm bored.

Chinese looking with grey eyes.

Isn't she the cutest thing ever?

Why does every fucking thing has to be this way?
What the fuck is wrong with him?
Why is he being so fucked up?
How can it bother me like fuck after so long?
Why do I have to fucking feel like fuck?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I feel very fucked.

Urgh..Fuck off.

Dream Of Me..

.
Let me sleep

For when I sleep I dream that you are here

You're mine

And all my fears are left behind

.
I float on air

The nightingale sings gentle lullabies

So let me close my eyes

.
And sleep, a chance to dream

So I can see the face I long to touch, to kiss

But only dreams can bring me this
.

So let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see

And maybe when he dreams, he'll dream of me

.

I hide beneath the clouds

And whisper to the evening stars

They tell me love is just a dream away, dream away

.

I'll dream away...
.

So let the moon shine softly on the boy I long to see

And maybe when he dreams, he'll dream of me..

Is my time through?

.
I have been scaring myself. Or maybe not.

I couldn't sleep last night; I tossed and turned around til one moment... I stopped. I just stopped moving, curled myself up..And just lay there. I felt so weak, so restless and suddenly everything seems to peaceful to me. I wasn't all that sleepy. I didn't dare to fall asleep actually. I was afraid that I might not wake up... for life. The thoughts of just lying down there, not waking up when someone keeps knocking at my door scares me. I just didn’t move a single inch then.. my thoughts started running wild. I was imagining things. Like I got crashed by a big truck, was smashed to death. Like if I got snatched but I didn't want to let go and the fucker just used the parang and slash me or maybe stab with a knife. And I was imagining my funeral.. After a while I fell asleep, but I woke up feeling the same shitty feeling I had last night. Heh.. I know I'm crazy. I think I am too.

Btw, with the amount of crime rates, snatch thefts that's been happening rather often lately. Everywhere, anytime, it is happening. I was considered lucky in my past experience. I could have died. Seriously. Well, honestly, you won't understand how it felt that time unless you were me. I couldn't care less about anything when it happened, I just screamed my lungs out, kicked them like motherfcuker, and I didn't even realise I was punched on my cheek and my ears. My nose was bleeding, and the buttons on my shirt were all opened. Oh yeah, one side my shoe came off when they dragged me out from the car. I came to conclusion that, the reason why I was punched so fucking hard, was because I kicked them on the right spot.I was on a sitting position and they were both trying to drag me out of the car, and my shoes were the thick 2 inch heel, so can you imagine if your balls got kicked so hard that your mother couldn't even recognise you? (Applied to male species only) Yeah, so that was it.
Until today, I still get phobias here and there. Probably I'm paranoid.

Borderline is, you never know when is your time coming by.
You'll never know. Things can happen anywhere, anytime..
so please to be cautious in whatever you do.

If someday I am not here anymore, and I didn't have a last word with any of you.. just remember that I wrote this.
I'm sorry if I ever offended you, piss you off, scolded you or whatever. I am sorry to those I took for granted, people who were friends before but not-so-friend anymore now, friends that I have not been in contact with,and particularly to my girls. You girls are like my sisters. Have been through the ups and downs together with me for years. I will not be complete without any of you. I mean it. Much love. & my boy, I don't know what is happening now.. and I don't know what is going to happen next. Whatever it is, just remember that I will still love you no matter what happens.
You will always be in my thoughts.

I guess nobody wants to grow up. I miss those times when I was still at school. There is no worries about the future, not so much that is. Just struggle to wake up daily to go school and after school just get home and chill. My main focus now is to get the damn cert and start working. I want my mom to have better life. She has been working for over 26 years
and I think its time for her to stop since we are already so grown up.

Next 5 years I hope she can already have a grandchild to take care of. But of course, not mine, but my brother's. I probably will be ahead of him though, with the attitude he is having now.
Omg, its killer weh. Its nice having to be called auntie by my sibling's kid. . okay, I am thinking too far now. Back to reality. I have another 8 months to finish off my cert. 8 months, should be passing quite fast.

Short term, looking forward to November. There are too many issues going on now. Maybe its just me, I don't know. LDR sucks big time. Now I understand.
Its nice seeing people having no problems even though both are on different side of the world. But mine is killing me day by day.

I should stop thinking. To heck with him, for the mean time. I know, I am confident that things are gonna be just fine when he comes back in Nov. I just have to struggle for another 3 months.
I hope nothing is going to fuck it up.

Semester break...

I don't quite need a holiday right now.
When the boredom strikes in, I tend to think nonsense.
But it's just a mere 2 weeks holiday.
After this, my schedule will be pack I suppose.
I'm hoping to get a part time job a BodyShop as soon as possible.
For me to past time, and earn some pocket money as well.

I always loved weekends. I stay in most weekends to do my laundry
and to clean up my room, and relax.
I feel tired most of the times on weekdays.
Don't know whats happening to my body.

By the way, I should be heading to the door now.
Suppose to meet up with Lynn at Centrepoint in 15 minutes.
Laters.

Silliness...

Here's some silly random pictures with fond memories.